Cultivating Queer and Trans Joy in 2025
To say the beginning of 2025 has been chaotic and overwhelming is an understatement. With the attempts at banning transgender people from various areas of life, queer and trans identities being erased from governmental entities, and LGBTQ+ rights being threatened, it feels like every time I open my phone a new threat is looming. The attacks on immigration, DEI, neurodiversity, bodily autonomy, and so many other marginalized identities and experiences is too much for any of us to hold. I can’t even count how many times I’ve said to people in the last few weeks “Of course, you are feeling overwhelmed and scared, things are overwhelming and scary right now.”
And yet, in the midst of the fear, I’ve also seen queer and trans joy shining through. Performances from Chappell Roan, Doechii, Billie Elish, and Janelle Monet highlighted the 2025 Grammy Awards, in addition to many queer artists winning awards and using their platforms to speak against current anti-LGBTQ+ policies and attacks. Protests across the country have been fighting for transgender rights. Even one of my favorite TV shows, The Traitors, has had some incredible and funny queer contestants this year who have made this season a clear favorite for me.
Black, queer, activists such as Audre Lorde and adrienne maree brown have discussed the importance of “joy as resistance.” The experience and expression of joy not only helps us to sustain continued activism, but also serves as a form of resistance to a culture that seeks to deny queer and trans rights and existence. Liberation and justice in themselves are forms of joy.
But what is joy?
Joy is more than simply happiness. Although happiness can be a part of joy, it is a deeper feeling. Joy is intricately connected to our overall feelings of well-being. Going deeper than happiness, joy is connected to our feelings of purpose, meaning, authenticity, and connection. Whereas happiness may be sparked briefly from something outside ourselves, joy is more of a long-lasting feeling that stems from within ourselves. In 2025, it feels even more important to find ways to consistently grow and nurture joy within the LGBTQ+ community.
Ways to Cultivate Queer and Trans Joy
Self-Care: We can’t continue to resist without taking care of ourselves. Taking care of our health and well-being are crucial to be able to cultivate other experiences of queer and trans joy. Eating meals, drinking water, moving your body, taking prescribed medications, scheduling regular doctor appointments, and caring for our emotional needs are all important aspects of self-care. To learn more about making a self-care kit to help navigate difficult times, click here.
Authenticity: As LGBTQ+ people we are often made to hide or lessen parts of our identities, sometimes out of necessity for safety and survival. And yet, finding ways and places to express your authentic self can help to build your feelings of queer and trans joy. Take time to honor your authentic self in the ways that you can. For some people, this might be living loudly, out and proud, and for some it might be taking small moments at home to dress in gender affirming ways or sharing your authentic self with loved ones. Find the ways you can connect with and express your authentic self.
Connection: Joy can be cultivated and created through meaningful and deep connections with others. Connect with other LGBTQ+ people in your life and have meaningful conversations, laugh together, host watch parties for the new season of Drag Race, or whatever will feel meaningful for you to do together. This might even be talking about some of the scary things going on right now and supporting each other. Sometimes, even these hard moments can bring about joy through deeper connection and support.
Pleasure: As adrienne maree brown expresses in their book, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, “There is no way to repress pleasure and expect liberation, satisfaction, or joy.” In order to make space for joy in our lives, we need to prioritize and experience pleasure. Pleasurable sexual experiences with partners or ourselves can be ways to prioritize our pleasure and create queer and trans joy. Other life pleasures outside of sex, such as pleasurable foods, movements, and feelings can also be ways to prioritize our pleasures. Take some time to think about what pleasure means to you and how you can experience more of it in your life.
Creativity: Surround yourself with queer and trans art. Adding art in my office created by queer and trans artists has helped me feel more enlivened in my space. Listen to music, read books, watch movies, and find art created by LGBTQ+ creatives. Allow yourself to be inspired by the art that surrounds you to create your own artistic expressions.
Community: Find ways to connect with LGBTQ+ communities and spaces. Attend events hosted by local LGBTQ+ organizations, visit and support LGBTQ+ businesses in person or online, follow LGBTQ+ people online, find places and ways to volunteer to help give back to people within your community.
Celebration of Identity: Engage in things that help to celebrate LGBTQ+ identities. This might be engaging further in community events as mentioned before, like Pride events, or engaging with LGBTQ+ media that brings you happiness or you feel celebrates your identities.
Resistance: Fighting for your rights, working in alignment with your values, speaking out for your beliefs, and supporting others can all be acts of resistance that build joy. Call or email your representatives to speak against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and legislation that will impact your communities, donate to causes supporting LGBTQ+ communities, support mutual-aid funds and networks, join protests, speak to the people in your life. There are so many ways to engage in direct action and resistance, find the ways that you can use your skills, talents, and power to best work towards change.Fighting towards queer and trans liberation is a clear way towards reaching joy.
There are many ways to cultivate Queer and Trans joy, including ways that likely aren’t on the list I’ve made. Seeing and noticing the joy in other LGBTQ+ people has been another way I’ve been able to highlight joy in my life over the last few months. Attending therapy with an LGBTQ+ affirming or identifying therapist can be another way to help work towards building more joy in your life during the hard times ahead. If you are interested in working with a queer psychologist, feel free to email me at carolyn@carolynmeillerphd.com or request an appointment here.
About the Author:
Dr. Carolyn Meiller is a queer psychologist in Lexington, KY. Prior to starting her private practice she worked with many queer and trans college students and partnered with LGBTQ+ organizations to run workshops on topics related to LGBTQ+ pleasure, mental health, and wellness. As a queer ciswoman growing up in Kentucky, she is passionate about supporting LGBTQ+ people connect with and express their authentic selves.
