Self-Care at Your Fingertips: How to Make a Self-Care Kit
Your self-care kit should be filled with things that are unique to who you are and what you find helpful!
Feelings like anxiety, stress, and sadness are often signals to ourselves that we are needing to take care of ourselves in some way. But when we are overwhelmed with painful thoughts and feelings, it can be hard to figure out what to do other than sit there in our feelings. Even harder, our emotions, especially painful ones, often pull us to do things to create more of that same emotion. Have you ever been really sad and then turned on the saddest songs you can think of to be even more sad? That’s exactly what I mean! Now I’m a believer in feeling your feelings, so sometimes turning on those sad songs and crying your heart out might be an okay choice, but not all the time. So when you are at a loss for how to cope in hard times, because even coming up with an idea for self-care is taking too much energy, what do you do?
This is where a Self-Care Kit comes in handy! A self-care kit allows you to keep a variety of things that you can use for self-care and coping and store them all in one easily accessible spot. Then, when you realize you need to use some coping skills or just notice that you aren’t doing well, you can go grab your kit and choose something to do.
You can create your own self-care kit in 5 easy steps:
1) Figure out what you will use as your “box”
A key part of a self-care kit is that everything is stored in one place. So you need a receptacle to hold all of your self-care items. You can use a box, a basket, or a bag. Even an extra drawer in a bedside table or desk will work great! Find something that is a decent size that you can store a few items in. You can use an old tote bag or reusable grocery bag, a paper bag from the store, a shoe box, or just a cardboard box. If you’d like to purchase something that brings you joy to create your self-care kit, you can, but don’t let finding the “perfect” box stop you from making your kit. You can always swap out what you are using if you find something you like better down the road.
2) Fill your self-care kit
You’ve got your “box,” now you need to fill the inside. Anything that helps you relax, feel calm, feel present in your body, or feel joy or happiness are great things to put inside your self-care kit. Your self-care box should be unique to who you are and what helps you. If you are stumped, here are a few ideas to help get you started!
A warm and comforting beverage: Place some tea bags or packets of hot chocolate along with a mug. Heat up some water and focus on the warmth and flavor.
Your favorite snack: Add some of your favorite candies or chocolates for a nice treat. Including a granola bar or some nuts can also be a good addition for some nutrients. Throw in some mints or hard candy so that you can focus on the flavor as you suck on it.
Something that you love the smell of: Add a favorite candle, essential oil, or a lotion of face mask that you love the smell of. Take some time to really focus on the smell.
Something soft: Add some soft socks, a stuffed animal, or a cozy blanket to wrap yourself up in.
Fidget toys: Include some fidget toys or things you can fidget with if that helps you be more present, focused, or grounded. Or include a stress ball, or some paper you can rip up if you are frustrated or angry.
Meaningful words: Gather some cards you’ve received from friends or family that you can look back on fondly. If you’ve gotten nice text messages from people, write them down on a piece of paper and put them in your kit. Write down your favorite quotes or lyrics from songs that make you feel better. You can even write some of your own positive affirmations.
Paper and a pen: Add a journal or some scrap pieces of paper and something to write with. Writing down how you are feeling or about what is going on can be a great method of self-care.
Creative expressions and hobbies: Include some of your favorite hobbies or ways to express yourself creatively. A sketch book, yarn and crochet hooks, a coloring book and markers, or even some playdough are great ways to connect with your creative side. You can even include some markers, paint, or scrapbooking paper to decorate your self-care kit with!
Things of sentimental value: Find some old ticket stubs from your favorite concerts, a friendship bracelet a friend gave you, your mother’s earrings, or anything that reminds you of good times or good people. Include some photos of people and places that are important to you.
Reminders to reach out: Sometimes we need help from others. Write down reminders to text or call a supportive loved one. Add numbers to local crisis support services and crisis lines in case they are needed (Suicide Prevention Line numbers: 988 or 1-800-273-8255)
3) Determine where to store your self-care kit
When figuring out where to store your kit, there are a few things to consider. First, you want your self-care kit to be easily accessible. So don’t stick it on the top shelf of your closet that you need to grab a step stool to reach. Place it on a dresser, under your desk, or in the corner of your room. Second, try to think about where you usually are when you could most use your self-care kit. If you know that you could really use it when you are feeling stuck in bed, keep it on your bedside table. If you tend to get overwhelmed when you are working at your desk, place it in one of the drawers or on the floor right next to your desk.
4) Make reminders to use your self-care kit
Until it becomes more of a habit to use your self-care kit, reminders can be helpful! Consider keeping your kit out in the open so that seeing it serves as a visual reminder. If you need to store it in a drawer, write “Don’t forget your self-care kit” on a post-it note somewhere easily visible. If you share your space with others, and don’t want them to see your note just draw a heart or other image on a post-it and know that it serves as a reminder. You can even set reminders or alarms in your phone at regular intervals, or add “use self-care kit for 10 minutes” to your to-do list. If you set alarms in your phone, try to time them when you would tend to need your self-care kit. If you know you mostly need some self-care at night, set the alarms for the evening. Over time, you won’t need as many reminders because using your kit will be more of a habit.
5) Replenish your kit as needed
Don’t forget to replace things when you have finished them. If you’ve finished your snacks, lotion, or beverages, make sure to add new ones. Also, as you find new things that you enjoy, feel free to add them to your kit!
But what if I need my self-care kit when I am out of the house?
A great question! Sometimes we need self-care when we are at work, school, or running errands. Here are two options:
Create a mini self-care kit for on the go: Throw a few self-care items in your briefcase, backpack, purse, or glove box of your care. You can get a small pencil case or small bag to put a few self-care items in.
Create a digital self-care kit on your phone: Find ways to create spaces on your phone for self-care instead of turning to your phone for endless doom-scrolling when you are feeling overwhelmed. Create an album in your photo app with your favorite pictures, create a playlist with your favorite uplifting or calming songs, make a note on your phone with links to your favorite youtube videos or meditation youtube videos, make a note with affirmations and quotes, add a folder of apps on your phone with apps that help you with self-care. If you want, you can even write down some of these things and place reminders, such as “turn on your relaxing playlist” in your original self-care kit if they are helpful to you!
Self-care is not a one-size fits all. And even ways of self-care that work for you in one situation may not work in others. A self-care kit lets you have a variety of types of self-care right at your fingertips without even having to brainstorm options. Keep trying different types, and add or remove things from your self-care kit as you have more of an idea of what things are helpful for you. If you are wanting to learn more about ways to care for yourself, reach out to me at carolyn@carolynmeillerphd.com or request an appointment here. I’d be honored to talk more with you about your self-care and wellness journey.
About the Author:
Dr. Carolyn Meiller is a Licensed Psychologist in Kentucky. She holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology from the University of Kentucky. As an anxiety and trauma therapist, she specializes in helping adults navigate and cope with symptoms of anxiety and panic. She is trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Emotion-Focused Therapy to help clients better understand their experiences of anxiety and build effective ways of coping. She believes in helping clients build greater insight into themselves and their experiences in order to help them honor and express their authentic selves.
