A hand holding a black pen over a journal. Some notes are written on the paper indicating that it may be helpful to reflect on your own answers throughout reading this post and write them down. — *It may be helpful to jot down your answers to these questions so that your answers can help you when you are searching for and starting with a new therapist.*

Starting therapy is not easy, and there can be a lot of questions you may have before starting. I’m a detailed person, and I like knowing what to expect before I start something new. So, I’m writing a Beginning Therapy Series that will hopefully help guide you through all of the initial steps of starting therapy. So, if you are anything like me, and looking for the details on how to find a therapist, how to tell if they are a good fit for you, and what to expect in your first session, in addition to many other questions, this series is for you! I’m going to spend the next few weeks outlining how to go about each of these steps and more to get you started on your healing journey, so I hope you come along for the ride!

First, we are going to cover what to ask yourself before searching for a therapist. These questions will help give you a clearer idea of what you are looking for and ultimately help you find a therapist who is a good fit for you. As you read through each question, take a few minutes to write down your answers for yourself! So, here are five questions to ask yourself before starting therapy:

1) What is bringing me to therapy at this time?

Figuring out what is bringing you to therapy will help you be better able to communicate your needs with a potential therapist and also find a therapist that can effectively help you with your specific concerns. Oftentimes, we might turn to therapy because we are struggling or not feeling like ourselves. If you are able, take some time and really think about what specifically you are struggling with and what is not feeling good for you. It can also be helpful to ask yourself, “Why now?” What about this moment has made you decide to begin therapy? The answer to this question may help highlight what is bringing you into therapy. Figuring out ways to succinctly share this will help you as you reach out to therapists. One of the first questions a therapist will likely ask you is about what is bringing you into therapy, so it can be helpful to already have an answer. If you are still struggling to answer this question, the next question may further help you narrow down what is going on for you.

2) What am I hoping to get out of therapy?

This question will help you narrow down what you are wanting to work on and your goals for therapy. As you are looking for a therapist, you will want to focus on therapists who are knowledgeable on and work with the concerns you are having. For example, if you know that you are wanting to work on feelings of anxiety around being vulnerable with other people you’ll want to look for a therapist who focuses on anxiety and relationship concerns, and maybe not a therapist who focuses on eating disorders. Having knowledge of your goals going into therapy will help you be able to more clearly express your needs to a therapist, and also give you insight into if and how therapy is helping.

3) How will I pay for therapy and how much can I able to spend?

Therapy is an investment in yourself and your wellness. And dependent on your circumstances, you’ll want to consider how much you can afford to invest into therapy on a regular basis. There are many options for how you may choose to pay for therapy, including insurance, out-of-network insurance benefits, paying out of pocket, and looking into reduced rate and sliding scale options. Knowing how you would like to pay for therapy and how much you can afford to spend on therapy will help you with finding a therapist who can fit within your budget. Oftentimes, therapists will see their clients weekly, especially at the beginning of therapy, although this is not always the case. So, look into your budget and see what you can afford to direct towards your therapy. If you have insurance, also consider calling your insurance company to learn about your mental health treatment benefits, including your copay, and your out-of-network benefits.

4) What is important to me to have in a therapist?

There are all sorts of reasons you might want to work with a therapist that has a certain quality, approach, or identity. Perhaps you have been to therapy before and found a particular approach a therapist used to be helpful. You might then want to look for a therapist who uses a similar approach. If you know you will feel more comfortable working with a therapist who is a woman, look for a woman therapist. Many people, especially those who have marginalized identities, might feel most comfortable with a therapist who shares their identities. As a queer therapist myself, I know I have at times found it easier to connect with my own therapist when they are also in the LGBTQIA+ community. Do you know that you want to meet with a therapist virtually? Make sure to look for therapists who offer telehealth and virtual appointments in your state. Are there any important things you want to have in a therapist?

5) Am I ready for therapy?

Therapy can be absolutely life changing and enlightening for many people. But it is also hard. Gaining new understandings, talking about your past, making changes and connecting with your emotions can be painful at times. People often engage in therapy to make changes in their lives, and doing things differently can be uncomfortable and challenging. At the end of the day, you often get out of therapy what you put into it. I believe it is okay to enter therapy nervous, uncertain, and even afraid, but to get the most out of therapy you should also have some amount of openness and readiness for change (even if you aren’t sure what that change looks like!) So, if you are a little unsure or nervous, but you are open to change and interested in more deeply understanding yourself, then therapy can be a great step! There may never be a perfect time to start therapy, so if you’ve read this far, I’m going to take a guess that you are at least somewhat open to the change that can come with therapy and are ready to begin your healing process.

Bonus question you may be asking yourself: Now what comes next?

Okay, you’ve asked yourself these questions and you now have a better idea of what you are hoping to achieve in therapy, what you are looking for in a therapist, and how you will pay for therapy. But how do you find a therapist? I’ll be covering this in my next blog, and in the weeks following I’ll be covering additional important topics around starting therapy, so stay tuned!

If you’d like to explore starting therapy with me, you can email me at carolyn@carolynmeillerphd.com or request an appointment here.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Starting Therapy